Garripcem is a god.

She takes the form of a large, moody tortoise.

Garripcem created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garripcem, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Garripcem, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Garripcem's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Garripcem's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Garripcem.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never mark doors with violet.

4. Always help great tits in need.

5. Never talk about fire.