Fubnarttig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, slow dolphin.

Fubnarttig created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubnarttig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fubnarttig, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Fubnarttig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fubnarttig's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fubnarttig.

3. Never paint your chest gray.

4. Never think about special relativity near pigs while wearing pink corsets and balancing four zinc spheres on your head.

5. Do not resist balance.