Canmotwit Nibpadjop is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, resourceful goblin.

Canmotwit Nibpadjop created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Canmotwit Nibpadjop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Canmotwit Nibpadjop, he will turn you into a rat.

Canmotwit Nibpadjop's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Canmotwit Nibpadjop's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never eat grapes on days of mourning.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not chant in public.