Cebtalten is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonourable goblin.

Cebtalten created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebtalten, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cebtalten, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cebtalten's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Cebtalten's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Always store coconuts above ground.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near mice while wearing orange kilts and balancing nine tin spheres on your back.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.