Tabgatfen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, overgenerous finch.

Tabgatfen created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Tabgatfen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tabgatfen, she will turn you into a mole.

Tabgatfen's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tabgatfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare lemons during winter.

2. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

3. Never mix aubergines with oil.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Do not name children after gulls.