Arppidquillvad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, thoughtless turtle.

Arppidquillvad created the Sunflower Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arppidquillvad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Arppidquillvad, he will jump up and down on your head.

Arppidquillvad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Arppidquillvad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. Do not eat tomatoes.

5. Never sprint in holy places.