Kimlimkik Dudmidart is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent squirrel.

Kimlimkik Dudmidart created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimlimkik Dudmidart, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kimlimkik Dudmidart, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kimlimkik Dudmidart's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kimlimkik Dudmidart's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while blessed.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.