Rowmutkan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish horse.

Rowmutkan created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowmutkan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Rowmutkan, she will torture you forever.

Rowmutkan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Rowmutkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Rowmutkan on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.