Mabhatzig is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unjust faun.

Mabhatzig created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabhatzig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mabhatzig, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mabhatzig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Mabhatzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always store aubergines above ground.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Run away if nine whales approach from the west.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.