Spagqueegmap is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tranquil pigeon.

Spagqueegmap created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagqueegmap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Spagqueegmap, he will not care.

Spagqueegmap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Spagqueegmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Always help doves in need.

5. Never play with disobedient children.