Pidflyfig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, selfish cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pidflyfig created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidflyfig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pidflyfig, he will turn you into a plant.

Pidflyfig's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Pidflyfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always wash your face before prayer.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never hop in spring.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.