Wad is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, generous monkey.

Wad created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wad, it will throw large rocks at you.

Wad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Wad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always wear black.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

5. Never gather three eagles in one place.