Gildunmifxucksandpanyim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous giraffe.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gildunmifxucksandpanyim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gildunmifxucksandpanyim, she will make you grow a tail.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gildunmifxucksandpanyim's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never sing in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Remain standing during prayer.

5. Do not covet oxen.