Somsad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonest salamander.

Somsad created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somsad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Somsad, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Somsad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Somsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always store coconuts above ground.

2. Never remain standing at midnight.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

5. Pray only in moonlight.