Tarnantag Panfomlip is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid alligator.

Tarnantag Panfomlip created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarnantag Panfomlip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tarnantag Panfomlip, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarnantag Panfomlip's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tarnantag Panfomlip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never jump in spring.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.