Titnillhom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying troll.

Titnillhom created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Titnillhom, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Titnillhom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Titnillhom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Titnillhom's Holy Commandments

1. Titnillhom must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Learn six new languages a year.