Nartlarnciss is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, strong shark.

Nartlarnciss created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartlarnciss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nartlarnciss, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nartlarnciss' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Nartlarnciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Hide if five snails approach from the west.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.