Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, fast mink.

Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Middud Gatbetmatabnurlstipwatbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Never approach forests carrying bone.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.