Febbisstifvad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-assured weasel.

Febbisstifvad created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febbisstifvad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Febbisstifvad, he will turn you into a hamster.

Febbisstifvad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Febbisstifvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Febbisstifvad.

5. Never travel toward the west during summer.