Zigflatgam is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless cow.

Zigflatgam created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigflatgam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zigflatgam, she will ignore you.

Zigflatgam's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Zigflatgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

3. Do not eat apples.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing indigo tights and balancing six gold spheres on your feet.