Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless lizard.

Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Montagcet Bedgenrillstraglistomtwegbaf Litnillham's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle lead while unclean.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Never wear white kilts.

4. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

5. Never feed parsnips to monkeys while wearing orange corsets.