Carparkwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring mole.

Carparkwik created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Carparkwik, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Carparkwik, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Carparkwik's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Carparkwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about fluid mechanics.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never record names.

4. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.