Bellbugsand is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, witless manatee.

Bellbugsand created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellbugsand, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bellbugsand, she will be very sad.

Bellbugsand's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bellbugsand's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. You must pray to Bellbugsand seven times a day.