Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying giraffe.

Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to seven before sleeping.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Put Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob first in all things.

5. You must love Sugmonnurl Dadshavmob.