Fidjamsterraw is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, sapient pigeon.

Fidjamsterraw created humankind three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidjamsterraw, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fidjamsterraw, he will turn you into a snail.

Fidjamsterraw's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fidjamsterraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to manatees while wearing purple hats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not cook food in pots.