Cebsitjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, slow cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cebsitjap created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebsitjap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cebsitjap, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cebsitjap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cebsitjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare garlic during summer.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Cebsitjap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always store oranges above ground.