Rilljadkan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, wise narwhal.

Rilljadkan created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilljadkan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rilljadkan, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Rilljadkan's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Rilljadkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always share peas with strangers, but never with gulls.

3. You must love Rilljadkan.

4. Never feed corn to rats while wearing green stockings.

5. Never talk about birds.