Bamcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish hummingbird.

Bamcuss created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcuss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bamcuss, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bamcuss' most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bamcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not keep three grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Never mark doors with cyan.

5. Never play with disobedient children.