Bimgatcar is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic goat.

Bimgatcar created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimgatcar, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimgatcar, he will turn you into a frog.

Bimgatcar's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bimgatcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Run away from green whales, for they are unholy.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bimgatcar on top of all buildings.

4. You must love Bimgatcar.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.