Rattagvil is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional hippopotamus.

Rattagvil created the planet Mars three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rattagvil, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rattagvil, it will boil you in a big pot.

Rattagvil's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Rattagvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never adorn your head with white markings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed lots of bread to horses while wearing mauve scarves.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.