Tenjipontapp is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, fast giraffe.

Tenjipontapp created parasitic wasps nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tenjipontapp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenjipontapp, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Tenjipontapp's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tenjipontapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat strawberries.