Karyartmit Arftarggep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring hummingbird.

Karyartmit Arftarggep created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karyartmit Arftarggep, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Karyartmit Arftarggep, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Karyartmit Arftarggep's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Karyartmit Arftarggep's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Karyartmit Arftarggep.

3. Never allow porpoises to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.