Yartkablab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving rat.

Yartkablab created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartkablab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yartkablab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yartkablab's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yartkablab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven moths approach from the south.

2. Never record signs.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never whisper while facing east.

5. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.