Fobcampag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, competent elephant.

Fobcampag created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Fobcampag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fobcampag, he will be mildly annoyed.

Fobcampag's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fobcampag's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix bananas with water.

2. You must love Fobcampag.

3. You must pray to Fobcampag four times a day.

4. Never gather nine cats near towers.

5. Never cross crossroads at midnight.