Gepbonmob is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, narcissistic seal.

Gepbonmob created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbonmob, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gepbonmob, it will turn you into a rat.

Gepbonmob's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gepbonmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle carbon while unclean.

2. Never feed lots of parsnips to squirrels while wearing indigo stockings.

3. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.