Kadgep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, annoying gnu.

Kadgep created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgep, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kadgep, it will turn you into a rat.

Kadgep's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kadgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Feed all hungry tapirs.

3. Always remove hats before touching nickel.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Always wear turquoise.