Pinbudwon Fobdosstam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving crocodile.

Pinbudwon Fobdosstam created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinbudwon Fobdosstam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Pinbudwon Fobdosstam, it will destroy your home planet.

Pinbudwon Fobdosstam's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Pinbudwon Fobdosstam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Never fashion tools from wood.

3. Feed all hungry rats.

4. Never think about dark energy near dolphins while wearing white corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

5. Never allow voles to witness sacred rites.