Rulstikken is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast eagle.

Rulstikken created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Rulstikken, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rulstikken, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Rulstikken's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Rulstikken's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix figs with ash.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Put Rulstikken first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.