Zanquaflap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited scorpion.

Zanquaflap created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanquaflap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zanquaflap, he will be mildly annoyed.

Zanquaflap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zanquaflap's Holy Commandments

1. Zanquaflap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Zanquaflap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never hop in the presence of elders.

4. Never adorn your feet with yellow markings.

5. Always help frogs in need.