Gankaptarg Tinwadzen is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful whale.

Gankaptarg Tinwadzen created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gankaptarg Tinwadzen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gankaptarg Tinwadzen, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gankaptarg Tinwadzen's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Gankaptarg Tinwadzen's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gankaptarg Tinwadzen first in all things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.