Kipkabgud is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic squid.

Kipkabgud created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipkabgud, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kipkabgud, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kipkabgud's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kipkabgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Always help moths in need.

4. Never chant while facing south.

5. Put Kipkabgud first in all things.