Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, deceitful turtle.

Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif, she will laugh at you.

Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nutxenfartonk Fligzigtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near porpoises.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never touch ash while tainted.