Flagtarpcab is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive bear.

Flagtarpcab created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagtarpcab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flagtarpcab, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flagtarpcab's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flagtarpcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat onions on holy days.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Learn three new languages a year.