Nibshavjen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awe-inspiring seal.

Nibshavjen created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nibshavjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nibshavjen, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nibshavjen's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nibshavjen's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

4. Never eat spinach.

5. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.