Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, able wren.

Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis' most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Tabwotgom Bastgiltun Higflowflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always store bananas above ground.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with joy.

5. Do not eat lentils.