Zigbassgat is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tiresome deer.

Zigbassgat created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbassgat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zigbassgat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Zigbassgat's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zigbassgat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

5. Never talk about stars.