Bunyamcad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, selfish mouse.

Bunyamcad created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunyamcad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bunyamcad, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bunyamcad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bunyamcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.