Dapsafbog is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, able monkey.

Dapsafbog created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapsafbog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dapsafbog, it will turn you into a rock.

Dapsafbog's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dapsafbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention aardvarks.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not covet oxen.