Bassbepmip is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking fairy.

Bassbepmip created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassbepmip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bassbepmip, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bassbepmip's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Bassbepmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near snails while wearing orange dresses and balancing seven lead spheres on your feet.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.