Mutbitgat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, prudent shrew.

Mutbitgat created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Mutbitgat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Mutbitgat, it will turn you into a goat.

Mutbitgat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Mutbitgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near porpoises while wearing orange tights and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Always wear yellow.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Always help sick birds.